Choose All Your Feels...
Have you ever tried to be good. Like – really (really) good?
Especially on your diet thinking maybe if you are good enough with the food. Then you will look a certain way. And if you look a certain way then someone will feel a certain way about you. And if they feel a certain way about you -- then it is ok for you to feel good about you too?
Yeah….That is how I spent most of my life.
Wanting to control how others felt about me. By being really nice and skinny and pretty – I thought this would keep me safe because those kinda girls are a whole lot easier to love. The only thing is… there are a ton of variables when it comes to controlling the someone’s and somedays in order to finally feel a.o.k.
The flip side of this is a living hell.
When you are trying to be good. And you can’t. You can’t stick to the diet. Score the gig, get the guy. Keep your anxiety under control and the undercurrent of shame begins its slow roll.
But bad isn’t what you really feel. More like damaged. Gross. An out of control weirdo who isn’t worth loving and you just kinda.wanna.disappear. Which is what the weight does. An invisible cloak to the world while the food is buffer to the mean thoughts you are thinking, the feelings you are feeling in a world that is just so damn hard.
Following someone else’s rules to your happiness is a short road to hell on earth.
You must learn how to choose the thoughts that make you feel the way you want to feel. This is your job and yours alone. Because at the end of the day…
No one can you make you feel a certain way without your permission.
So. How do you want to feel?
Choose it. And then choose it again.
Every single day.
Deciding how you want to feel, is exactly how you ensure the body and life of your dreams is on its way.
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